As we prepare to move to Canada, we have to prepare ourselves for culture shock. Frankly, I experienced a major transition and I certainly did encounter culture shock. Before I talked about my own experience, let’s dive into what culture shock really is.
We are the children of a society. Each society consists of different communities and each community has their own social norms, traditions, and culture. Culture is not something that we “create”. It is “produced” over decades and it’s an extremely complex process. Technically, our values are shaped by our culture. Our values are what makes us “us”. When you’re introduced to a new community and a new culture, there are times when you question things that are happening. Most of the time, you’re baffled and/or bewildered. Your head is filled with “WHATTTT????” It’s a feeling of disorientation when you’re subjected to something different.
There are 4 stages of culture shock:
1. Honeymoon stage
This is the euphoric stage when you’re excited and fascinated by everything that’s going on in the new place. You find everything amusing. You go “WOW”.
2. Negotiation stage
As time passes by, your excitement fades away and your feelings are replaced by anxiety and nervousness. It usually hits at the three-month mark. You start to face difficulties and situations that make you feel you don’t belong. This is also the beginning of the “homesick” experience. There are a lot of confusion, frustration, sadness, and even anger.
3. Adjustment stage
Usually at around 6-12 months after moving, you start to develop routine(s) that makes you feel more comfortable and more at ease. You become familiar with the new culture and your surroundings. You may still face challenges, but at this point, you feel like you can manage.
4. Adaptation stage
Known as the bicultural stage, you feel better. SO MUCH BETTER. You feel like you know what’s going on in the new community and you find new connections and a sense of belonging. You no longer feel isolated and lonely.
Re-entry shock
You’re not going to experience this shock until you return to your life before your move. This can be called “reverse culture shock” in which you feel disconnected with your original culture and community after you return from abroad. You probably have to go through the adjustment and adaptation stages again!
There are two main tips from me:
EXPECT culture shock: You MUST acknowledge the fact that Malaysia/Singapore is different from Canada. From eating habits to managing relationships, they do it differently from us. Acknowledging the differences is very important. Do not expect to replicate your life in MY/SG in Canada completely.
Control your expectations: Of course we are all so excited to experience a new life far away from home. However, the higher expectations you have, the harder reality will hit, and the more challenging your culture transition is going to be. You can certainly be excited, but remember to remember my first tip!
I transferred from a Chinese school in Malaysia to an international school in Singapore. Well, since both countries are pretty similar in terms of social norms and food, I did not have to go through too much of a transition. However, the school culture was poles apart. Long story short, I went through a hard hit in my negotiation stage. Not only did I have the language barrier (everyone had American or British accent!), I was also dumbfounded by whatever was happening. I couldn’t react properly and I felt like I did not belong there at all. I was trapped in the negotiation stage for 6 months. I hated everything to the point that I considered transferring to a new school.
Then, when February came and we had a school trip, I felt more comforted. It was a life changing trip and afterwards, for some reason, I started to feel more at ease. So, my advice is, you know.. Just expect to have the shock. And embrace your struggles. Keep in mind that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Talk to someone (find us!) if you feel like you need some shoulder to cry one or you need an older person to give you advice. Your hardship will pass by and during the process, engage in activities that make you feel better. If you feel more comfortable staying in your room studying, do that! You don’t have to feel like you need to network and make new friends quickly to adjust. Everyone processes shock differently. YOU DO YOU.
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